Yesterday, for the first time since my mastectomy I saw the doctor who took off my tits… and today the doctor who gave me new ones. I love them both but look forward to the day when their names are a distant memory.
"Healing yourself is connected with healing others."
"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine."
"I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order."
"The mere sound of moving water has been shown to lower blood pressure."
Today was the first day back to school for my daughter after THREE WEEKS of winter vacation and for the last THREE DAYS she has refused to take a bath. I threatened, I bribed, I begged and it took tears before she finally succumbed to my demand. She reluctantly jumped into the water, quickly splashed under her arms and “private parts” and within 30 seconds, she declared herself CLEAN. Not wanting a fight, I swallow her childish logic by telling myself, “at least soapy water touched her skin.’ Good enough.
After dropping her off at school, content knowing she was pseudo clean, I ventured to my local gym for a little “me bath time.” I lay in the empty steam/wet room as little annoying beads of water fall from the ceiling and splat onto my face. The random dripping water reminds me of a leaky guesthouse I once visited in Bali and the young woman who worked at the house. Upon meeting me she promptly asked, “How many times do you bath in a day?” I thought the question rather peculiar but answered honestly, “once a day, if I’m lucky.” Disappointment or disapproved distorted her face. I asked why the question, “do I smell funky?” She explained folks in Indonesia bath at least 3 times a day and you’re considered unclean if you bath any less. I laughed, “That makes me SIMPLY NASTY!” She did not laugh.
After our brief conversation, suddenly it seemed everywhere I looked people were bathing in the Balinese heat. During a different trip to Japan, (Hokkaido in the North), I often slipped from the freezing snow into a sulfur hot spring occupied by tons of wrinkled old folks, scrubbing each other down with all their might. Same ritual can be observed here in Los Angeles in the small spas of Koreatown, Chinatown, Little Armenia, Little Russia etc.
Alone in the steam room listening to new-age Musak, I started to manically scrub myself like millions of folks across the globe. I scrubbed until my brown skin turned pink. I scrubbed off the old year, with all its heartbreak, disappointment and loss. I scrubbed with a passion, praying and hoping my new skin, in this New Year, will glow, radiate and shine HEALTH instead of constantly being pricked by doctors and needles. My scrubbing turns into unabashed delight and I’m splashing and dancing in the puddles of water, feeling like a beautiful Balinese child.
Tonight my daughter is getting a scrub down, whether she likes it or not.
"The soul is healed by being with children."
You are very courageous. More so than I unfortunately. Where do, how do you find the strength somedays?
My daughter keeps me going… without her, I’m not sure I’d get out of bed in the morning.
WATER & WHEAT GRASS
While I can’t commit to becoming a vegan, a vegetarian or even a pescetarian (fish only), I can commit to drinking more water and daily doses of wheatgrass. It makes total sense, if you eat crap, you’ll feel like crap, right? So to balance my bad eating (and drinking) habits I’ll start by incorporating both. Seems simple enough. However after a bit of internet research I realize not so. Fresh wheatgrass or flash frozen, alkaline or reverse osmosis water. The water industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and of course most studies are supported or backed by company’s pushing their “type” of water. Some studies read like medical journals but most are thinly disguised marketing tools. I found reading the “water experts” on yelp much more entertaining and just as informative.
I must pick up my daughter in an hour so after weighing my options, I go with my guts and commit to tossing out my morning cup of Java for a swig of FRESH green juice and to wash it down with Alkaline water bought at a local store LIVING WATER in Culver City for $2 a gallon. Healing isn’t cheap but neither is cancer.